The “D” word

Hearing my princess call out “Daddy!” fills me with a certain amount of guilt.

Without going into the details of my relationship with my daughters father I know that raising her alone is for the best.
Legalities also mean he has limited access. He chooses to use none of this  access and chooses not to contribute towards her upbringing. (He went so far as to quit his job).

That aside.

It hard not to feel like there’s a space. At mealtimes there is a physical space where a “daddy” would typically be seated and on days out we see other “daddies” playing with their kids.

It’s can be difficult not to feel envious.

But then I stop.

And think.

What does “daddy” even mean?

I guess “daddy” is open to interpretation.

Which makes me question everything…

Is it harder raising a child with the wrong person than raising one alone? Yes.

Is having an absent father better than having one around that puts your child at risk? Yes.

Is “daddy” one man? No In my daughters case she has lots of male role models around her. She has all her amazing uncles, her beloved Papa and cousins. The men in her life give her more love than I could ever ask for.

My daughter has lots of “daddies”.

Next time she calls my brothers, brother-in-law or my dad, “daddy” I’m going to remind them just how wonderful they are and how I value the unconditional love they show my daughter.


💜 SSM x


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